otieno...my new found hero

it has a been a hot minute since i got to put these words down on paper...life has a been a little too good, another story for another time.

right now i just wanted to say thank you to otieno. andrew otieno. i just can't get him out of my head. there i was stuck in traffic on a hot saturday afternoon along uhuru highway. it was that uganda match day thingie-majig. soccer (oops i used the 's' word) madness in nairobi with vuvuzelas all over. felt like the kenyans trying to compensate their absence in the world cup.

while i was literally parked on the road since traffic was not moving, a tall sun-kissed boy walked up to the car window selling some peanuts. no older than thirteen he was. the usual reaction was me saying 'pole si leo' as i opened the little change-box signalling the emptiness.

he smiled.

he reached into his plastic basin and pulled the cone-shaped paper that tighly held the nuts within and passed it through window opening.

"thank you". he said, "this is for you today and next time you will hopefully have some change to promote my work." otieno gave me the paper-wrapped nuts, smiled and walked away leaving me frozen with an inspirational warmth that i can not put into words...

with that feeling and at that very instant, i felt like i had just met an angel.

The Ignorance over My Bleeding Vagina

“Let’s sit on that corner today.” He signed for us to move to the end of the alley-cum-madrasa right by the aluminum wall that separated our class from the fish lady-stand on the other side of the neighborhood. 

“Today we are going to talk about haydh.” He was the pseudo-expert on menstruation. “No being embarrassed,” Maalim continued. “Let us start off by turning to page seventeen of our books. I picked up a couple of Arabic words here and there as they rolled out of my mouth. I recognized the words women, wash, blood, prayer and a couple others.

“No praying during your periods,” our religion teacher went on as he listed the do’s and the don’ts of menstruation. “No fasting. But remember that these days that you miss fasting will have to be paid back before the next fasting month in the following year.”

 “You can wear nail polish during your periods since you will not be praying.” Maalim continued, “But I suggest that you do not since everyone will know that you are on your period then.”  And my next favorite rule, no divorcing when she is bleeding. After all, that would very suicidal for the man.  One major reason why a Muslim husband should always know his wife’s menstrual cycles. Just in case.

“Another thing that is completely haram,” he adjusted his kanzu, the white robe, as he switched sitting positions from one leg to the other, “there should be no sexual intercourse during menstruation.” Apparently God severely punishes those that do so.  “Have you ever come across the really white people?” He continued, “Not the wazungu (Caucasians). The other white ones, they are called albinos.” We all stared at him a little confused, we knew want albinism is but how did this find its way into the menstruation class.

“That is what happens when you have sex during your menstruation, you get an albino baby.”

A letter to my homophobic friend

Dear Erick Agade…Please go and screw yourself; as in literally tighten up those nuts and bolts in between your ears to hopefully enable more thoughtful thinking. Yours truly. 

I am reading the Daily Nation right now and I had to take a moment and pen this down. Erick just wrote to the editor to tell us that he ‘supports Mugabe’s reference to gays, homosexuals and lesbians as being worse than pigs because of going against morals to engage in filthy acts’. Mugabe, a century old dictator with a century old mind, enough said.

My first request is to keep god out of this issue since you are all very partial to his teachings and the myriad realities of life. When you say that he ‘knew when He created mankind’ - we can list a number of genetic alternations and catastrophes in this world that could explain that life is not as black and white as we would like it to be in our limited minds. Yes the mastermind plan is to have a penis go into a vagina but just as you can be born with eyes that do not see and limbs that are differently able (diffabled as I call it), the same applies with hormonal development that dictates a spectrum of sexual attraction.

Thank you Minister Esther Murugi for taking the stand on acceptance of diversity in sexual orientation, I am sure that the pressing issues like hunger in Turkana ‘where people eat dogs’ that Erick so adamantly wants you to attend to is already being addressed by folks like my sister who are up there as we speak. And of course the American bags of food have been sent which funny enough are never rejected as a western value when homophobic sisters and brothers are quick to dismiss gay rights as an outsider’s agenda.

My question to Erick is why should a homosexual person be ‘ashamed’ of demanding their rights? What is there to be ashamed of in wanting to access the same resources that we get as  Kenyans, access to healthcare, to seek employment and earn a living? What is so shameful about not wanting to be harassed by pretentious individuals like Erick?

Who exactly are we to pass such discriminatory moral judgement? I would love to see your moral CV Erick, so when you get a minute, please drop me a line or pass it on to the editor for all of us to read. In the meantime, pick up a book or two for enlightenment beyond the Bible and Mugabe mentality. I strongly recommend the Male Brain by Louann Brizzendine and Caveman Logic: the Persistence of Primitive Thinking in a Modern World by Hank Davis.

...Tantric Engineer...

"the tantric engineer is the mistress of transmitting pleasure that transcends social taboos and awkwardness, the giver of the cosmic backrub, the hug that feels like you’d like to stay there forever"

I went in for a meeting today, efforts to get the media to address the sex trade question through a human rights framework and it got my thinking into high gear. Why are so many of us Kenyans riding the high horse and patrolling morality issues. Last time I checked, no man was hand-cuffed and sent to jail for sticking it in his secretary Ruth instead of his wife Njeri. Nor was he sodomised by the cop upon arrest because he/she felt he deserved it. So the question is...why do we allow such moral judgements to continue raping the sisters, mothers and daughters of our nation?

On any given night in the sleepless city of Nairobi over 7,000 tantric engineers are working in the oldest profession in history, possibly the riskiest job in the market. Interesting enough is that what makes it so risky is YOU and ME!!! Through our judgement and the stigma, we passively allow systemized harassment. A system where a sister in the sex-trade is treated as a lesser person. One where she can not access healthcare services because she is deemed to be a waste of resources. She can not file for rape because you say she asked for it.  She can not report abusive clients because apparently she deserves it. She is a free-sex pass for police officers because...just because!

For offering the highly demanded service she is harassed, she is raped, she is locked up. And him...with his invisible cloak he goes to the next block and seeks another vendor with minimal understanding of the system that it takes two to tango!

Get off your god-damned high horse and get your feet on the ground...as you will soon see, the reality is quite difference down here. As women, regardless of our professions, we still have the fundamental right to be recognized and treated as human beings, is that really too much to ask for?